Tarquin goes commando………..again.

Someone at the pool has checked the gas meter, seen it whizzing round and turned the heating down so today it’s back to it’s normal 29 degrees.

One of the nicest things about training in a public pool is that you get to meet all sorts. Most days there is a constant stream of Public schools using the pool where I swim and it never ceases to amaze me how people that are receiving possibly the best education that money can buy are completely incapable of dressing themselves. Admittedly they are usually trying to perform this difficult task under the constant, but very mild (by comprehensive school standards) beasting of a young South African teacher shouting “Come on boys, less talking, more dressing…the bus leaves in 4 mins” but how do they go home so often without all the clothes they came with?

The lost property box must be literally overflowing with underpants perfectly labelled with names like Tarquin, Quentin or Peregrine because at least one of them always leaves a pair behind, sadly curled up on the floor under one of the benches. I admit, I’ve forgotten to take the odd token or £1 coin out of the locker door after I’ve emptied it, but I can proudly say I’ve never left the place without my pants, or for that matter wearing just 1 sock which appears to be the 2nd item of clothing most regularly strewn across the changing room floor.

As I was dressing today a cunning plan developed in my mind. As it’s Stuarts Birthday Happy birthday big Brother, it was probably worth a quick rummage through the lost property box to see if there was any designer underpants in there I could give him as a present. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective, there were not any there in his size or with the right name in.

Here’s a thought for the day. Public school educated people go on to good universities like Oxford and Cambridge, and then a high proportion of them end up in politics. Next time your watching TV news showing a debate from parliament, do a quick check round the faces and see if you can work out which ones (and there will be some for sure) have just realised that when they dressed for work they forgot to put their pants on.


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